I am okay with losing you as a friend

…there was a something in me, but now that thing is gone. Now that thing is gone, that thing is gone. I cannot cry. I cannot care. That thing is gone and will come back no more.  – F. Scott Fitzgerald Winter Dreams

I went to bed with a knot in my stomach. I slept in fits. When I woke, the knot had grown.

I am going to stay off of Facebook for awhile and mourn. Yeah, I said mourn.

I do not know what happens now with this idiot country of mine.

I worry for my friends in the LGBTQ community. I worry about anyone who has hint of even looking Middle Eastern.

I pretty much worry about anyone not a white male under this new administration.

I am embarrassed that so much of my own family voted for Trump. Dumb Mexicans.

There will be a reckoning of sorts.

A moron who ran so many businesses into bankruptcy that I lost count will surely not do well running our economy.

A man so easily incited to anger and threats of violence will now be in charge of the strongest military in the world. That should end well.

A man who thinks sexual assault is okay for him because he’s famous just became the most famous leader on the fucking planet.

So many people voted for the man who openly mocked the handicapped, women, a GOLD STAR FAMILY, called a war hero a loser, shat on Veterans, thinks that Americans of Mexican decent cannot adjudicate (which only makes me wonder what else we can’t do in his squinty eyes), called Mexican immigrants rapists and assorted vile things, accused Jews of running everything, wants to ban Muslims, is on trial for fraud, has a rape hearing coming up, has a running mate who used tax payer money to pay for gay conversion therapy, thinks women should be punished for having abortions, attracts racists (good ol’ KKK gave him their endorsement)… for fuck sake, I could go on.

He trafficked in hate. And he doesn’t understand the fucking Constitution!

And that’s the guy you picked.

So if you are one of the 50+ million who elected him, congrats. Really. Enjoy your victory.

I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t want to have you over for drinks. I don’t want to hang out at the show. I do not want you in my life anymore.

Your xenophobia won. Your homophobia won. Your misogyny won. Your racism won. Your antisemitism won. Whatever happens as a result – the emboldened hatred of other – is on you.

You built that. Now go away. At least, away from me.

I know that there are going to be a lot of people left vulnerable. I know that there are going to be a large handful who will feel emboldened to hate openly. Beyond that, I don’t know what comes next.

And I know that some of my more sensible friends will take the tact that I should try and get underneath it all, discover why people would vote the way they did beyond the vitriol spewed by their candidate. Maybe in time I will.

But I cannot see a time where I will think it is ever okay for people to say, for whatever their reasons, I want the racist, xeno/homo/otherphobe… because his values are in line with my own. And that is precisely what your vote for Trump says to the lot of us.

I can read a book to learn why David Duke thinks the way he does. But I wouldn’t wanna be his friend either.

Titty sprinkles or whatever.

Copyright 2022 Rudy Martinez
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