{"id":217,"date":"2015-08-19T16:22:00","date_gmt":"2015-08-19T16:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/2015\/08\/19\/i-wanted-to-take-you-on-a-boat-ride-but-my-arms-are-too-nubbly-for-rowing-so-i-invented-this-propeller-system-for-you-anyway-i-hope-you-are-having-a-nice-time\/"},"modified":"2025-10-08T20:39:41","modified_gmt":"2025-10-08T20:39:41","slug":"i-wanted-to-take-you-on-a-boat-ride-but-my-arms-are-too-nubbly-for-rowing-so-i-invented-this-propeller-system-for-you-anyway-i-hope-you-are-having-a-nice-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/2015\/08\/19\/i-wanted-to-take-you-on-a-boat-ride-but-my-arms-are-too-nubbly-for-rowing-so-i-invented-this-propeller-system-for-you-anyway-i-hope-you-are-having-a-nice-time\/","title":{"rendered":"I Wanted To Take You On A Boat Ride, But My Arms Are Too Nubbly For Rowing So I Invented This Propeller System For You. Anyway, I Hope You Are Having A Nice Time."},"content":{"rendered":"
The day before yesterday I got a package from a friend in Alabama. It was addressed to me for my birthday. Anyone who does not know me should know: I am terrible about waiting to open gifts (that whole, no guarantee I’ll be alive in two months thing) and I LOVE thoughtful gifts. <\/div>\n
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Thoughtful gifts being; gifts that are atypical, something that makes you think of me, or even better, a part of you. If you have trouble coming up with something that is any of those three, just get me a fucking gift card, it’s not brain science. <\/div>\n
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<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Apparently, paint adds 100 lbs. But just on men. <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

I once commented that a Billy<\/span><\/a> robot painting was my favorite of all her paintings. The Gorgeous Blonde<\/a> decided to commission a painting for my birthday. Sneaky.<\/p>\n

That’s the thing of it, though; I’ve always wanted a kayak, I always want music, tattoos, whatever, but, I got something so much better than even I could have imagined.  I look at it and I see love. And a fat robot confused by how a hot robot could look at him with so much of it. Really, me? Wow. <\/i>

<\/i>I haven’t verified that TGB specifically asked Billy to paint something that makes me feel the way Samantha makes me feel whenever she’s around, but that’s exactly how this painting makes me feel: loved, lucky, ridiculously happy.<\/p>\n

Billy captured us, which is my favorite version of me.<\/p>\n

TGB gets me in a way no one has. That’s equal parts exhilarating and scary as shit. Mostly, you make me feel like goddamn, it’s great to be alive.<\/p>\n

You give the best gifts.<\/p>\n

I swear I am not weeping as I write this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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This is where the magic<\/strike> Dribble happens<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

My challenge now: to find a way to make TGB feel as awesome as she’s made me feel.<\/p>\n

Challenge accepted!<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n
Copyright 2022 Rudy Martinez <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The day before yesterday I got a package from a friend in Alabama. It was addressed to me for my birthday. Anyone who does not know me should know: I am terrible about waiting to open gifts (that whole, no guarantee I’ll be alive in two months thing) and I LOVE thoughtful gifts.  Thoughtful gifts […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_oxygen_hide_in_design_set":false,"_oxygen_tags":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[104,103,105,102,35,106],"tags":[121],"class_list":["post-217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alabama","category-art","category-billy-the-kid","category-gifts","category-love","category-the-gorgeous-blonde","tag-archive"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=217"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":350,"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217\/revisions\/350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rudymartinez.wtf\/stuff-and-nonsense\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}