It Took Three Women to Fix One Man’s Mistake

By now most of you who know me know that I can be a bit of a dumbass during most waking hours. Signing our lease illustrated that point with stark clarity. It was all automated and online. Simple process really: read the lease, sign it virtually, enter a confirmation code that is sent to you via automated phone call. Except that there is nothing so simple that I can’t complicate needlessly. I signed, got the call and then hung up because why is someone calling me in French? Must be spam. *Click*

No dumbass, that is your code you are supposed to enter. Try again. I know my French numbers. Except that I don’t apparently. I ended up turning this simple process into a thing that took almost 24 hours to remedy. Thank god for TGB, Elena (our relocation specialist), and the woman at the leasing agency. They essentially removed my dumbass from the process and fixed it.

Did I happen to mention that I am a dumbass?

But now everything is signed and we have a home. In Paris.

I FUCKING LIVE IN PARIS!!!

For those interested in such things, the next step is returning to the states tomorrow and beginning the immigration process. I imagine it will be easier than getting my signature on a form. Mostly because I won’t have to do much of the work.

I don’t want to leave tomorrow. But we must.

I just really don’t wanna.

©2024 Rudy Martinez