Essays & Poems

It’s been a week since that other guy left the White House. It’s been three weeks since he sent his mob of thugs to the Capitol. I hate that other guy.  This new guy, Joe, well, he’s been a bit of a salve on this nation. He isn’t a miracle worker, but I have noticed […]

Since way back in the days when I was doing stand-up comedy I looked for rudymartinez.com. It was not available. Dot net was taken by an actor. He’s got a cool name and he’s been on things I like so, I can’t hate on him. Every so often I would check again. And again. From […]

Once upon a time there was a boy. He had a dog. His dog was an asshole that shat everywhere and peed on the boy’s shoes. This dog was a total cunt of a dog. This is his story. This asshole keeps calling me Carl. My name is not Carl, my name is William, not […]

Don’t pick that up, he said. His pace quickened. That’s when I saw my buddy Peter and a few other boys I barely recognized sitting on the wall. The barely recognizable boys were all from the continuation school down the street from our school. Hey Peter! I got out as my Uncle Charlie shuffled me down […]

Don’t. A small word, don’t. He reached out to touch her shoulder. Don’t, she said. Mix it in with a few other words and it can be a saving grace… You don’t have cancer. …or a soul crushing mallet. I don’t love you. We spent all night making drunk love to each other and woke to […]

 I hate Dallas, I said. Dallas sucks, my little brother, Rick, chimed in. The previous night he lost a boatload of money on the game and was still bitter.  I’m talking about the city, moron. Well I’m talking about the city, the football team, that monstrosity of a stadium, Tony fucking Romo, the shitty tv show – […]

 Dribble is going away. I know the six of you will be sad, but I promise I will still be around. For years I wanted my name attached to a dot com, but it is never available. Neither was dot net. All the cool dots were taken hostage. Until I came across dot wtf.  That’s […]

Every night he would see them on the dance floor, floating in a world of their own making. The Man in his crisp white shirt and creased slacks, and She always in a vibrant floral gown.  Most nights on this cruise he found himself making excuses to walk through the dance floor, hoping to steal […]

On November 7th I shot my friend Rall a text message: Wanna do a black and brown podcast with me? There was no preface, no explanation. He texted me back: You had me at hello. Honestly, I blame Stacey Abrams. I mean, I spent the better part of the last four years rage tweeting and […]